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The second part of this posting calls you to do a thorough review of a partner's results/discussion sections. The peer review is due by Tuesday, April 23rd. You must review the work of a student who has not had his/her work reviewed as yet. It will help to leave a brief message below someone's original posting indicating that you plan to review their work (so while you are doing the review someone else doesn't snap up your review and leave you in trouble). I recommend leaving an original message below someone's posting that reads something along the lines of: "I will cover your peer review." Once someone leaves this posting, it will help ensure that everyone gets a review.
Please carefully follow the instructions for the peer review:
Peer-Review Discussion/Results
You should
complete multiple reads of your partner’s piece (one or two reads will not cut
it).
Copy and paste the posting(s) into a
word document.
Number each paragraph and on a separate word document
write a once sentence synopsis of each paragraph’s topic and purpose. Leave
ample space between so you can write and elaborate further on each paragraph. If
a paragraph seems to be going in multiple directions, note the different
directions the paragraph takes and explore connections between divergent ideas.
Note key support for each paragraph Evaluate how well the support/details are implemented.
How well does the paragraph establish context and evidence? Is there a need for
more details to expand a point or a need for more evidence or perhaps analysis
of evidence to help deliver a point?
Create a
ranking system to identify which
paragraphs are most effective and which ones are less effective.
Following your discoveries and inferences from your above sections, underscore
aspects from each paragraph that needs improvement and establish criteria for
what works well in paragraphs that are strong and well developed. Look at
transitions between different paragraphs and explore ways to improve transitions
from one paragraph to the next.
Next, read
the paper once more through; identify and look
for a main point of theme that guides the results/discussion. From your previous analysis, and multiple
read-throughs, determine what central claim is being presented. How clearly
stated is the central finding? How can it be better stated? If there are a
series of important claims, how could those claims be organized under one
larger umbrella claim?
Come up with at least two questions to help the writer think critically
about the direction of the results/discussion sections. What do you as a reader
want to know more about? Where is the
piece most effective and why? Which details and part of the essay stand out as
most memorable and effective and why? Where does this piece need to be improved?
Be specific in your commentary of your peer’s work.
Your mapping exercise along with your comments for each section should be delivered as feedback.
In my survey, participants tended to use the pronoun “they” instead of “we” when describing a game where their favorite team was victorious, defying the norm according to Cialdini’s phenomena of BIRGing. In my survey, 19% of the participants used “they” when referring to their team of choice while describing a victory. While the BIRGing phenomena is associated with the pronoun “we” and not “they” (Cialdini et al., “Basking”), the participants were in no way shape or form trying to CORF. Since CORFing is usually denoted by the pronoun “they”, a gap was formed in my research. The analysis of my results illustrates that fans do in fact BIRG on paper at a lower rate than they do in a verbal manner according to Cialdini’s definition of BIRGing. While the usage of the pronoun “we” was the benchmark for deciding if a participant BIRGed, I do believe that some of the surveys had shown BIRGing although “we” was rarely used.
ReplyDeleteLooking at the results, it is obvious that subjects given visual stimuli, used to evoke a specific emotion, along with music meant to heighten this said emotion rated emotion levels to be on the higher side of the scale sometimes even at a 10, stating the emotion was fully present. This pattern occurred for each of the three emotions I tested, happiness, suspense, and sadness. Looking at Group 1, my control group, all five subject’s ratings of happiness after watching the video ranged from a 5 to a 7. Subjects from Group 2, which were given the same visual stimuli but with the addition of music meant to heightened the emotion, had ratings ranging from 8-9 with 10 being that the emotion was fully present at all times. From this data we can conclude that from the simple addition of music, an individual’s emotion can be manipulated to a great extent. Without the music, subjects felt only a moderate amount of the emotion but did not fully connect with the emotion that was being portrayed. With music, however, we see a more significant reaction to the stimuli where the subjects are able to connect deeper to the stimuli allowing them to feel the given emotion throughout the entire video.
ReplyDeleteWith regards to certain food choice motives it is noteworthy that pricing affects food based decisions the most amongst a collegiate sample body. The rationale behind established price as the largest food choice motive determinant is its score relative to other motives tested. Price scored a 3.52 on a 5 point scale, 0.22 higher than the next leading factor. Though a survey cannot accurately depict the reasoning behind why price is such an influencing aspect, for a collegiate setting, one can assume on a variety of different aspects why it is such a prominent determining factor, such as the economic burden of higher education whether it be student loans or the ever so outrageous cost of textbooks and housing.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDespite the severity of 9/11, participants did agree that there was humor in Bush’s speech. My findings concluded that age was a factor in the decision of whether the clip had humorous sections or not. The results from younger participants revealed that the majority agreed upon sections of the speech being funny. On the contrary, older participants were less likely to agree that the clip was humorous. These results conclude that age was a factor in the aspect of finding humor in a serious situation.
ReplyDeleteAll of the participants agreed on the fact that raising children in a bilingual environment was important. They all admitted that the child who was most submersed in this bilingual environment best learned the language. This also correlates with the scores on the children's oral and spanish proficiency tests. Those children (usually the oldest) who were raised in more of a bilingual environment had the highest scores on the tests. As predicted, bilingual environment most defiantly enhances the learning process of a second language for a child.
ReplyDeleteAn interesting finding that I found in my interview is the differences in the extent to which the students choose to disclose their personal information on social networks. Everyone I interviewed discloses their educational information on their Facebook page; however, only 80 % of interviewees disclose their employment information. 80% of the people interviewed are friends with their parents/ guardians on their Facebook account, but only 60% admitted they would be comfortable in having their Facebook account publicized for their employers and professors. Also, 40% said they have befriended people they do not know, based on similar backgrounds.
ReplyDeleteOne of the many findings in my survey results was the high rate of peer and mood influence on musical preference. The subjects reported what they believed influenced their choice in the music they listened to on a regular basis. Because this question provided a short answer and was not a multiple choice question, I was surprised to find that every single subject answered exactly the same. As predicted by both Johnstone and Horton, musical preference, influenced by peers, was a form of conformity. Depending on the mood the listener was in, whether it was a happy or depressed state, the change in musical preference was evident (Hunter).
ReplyDeleteLooking at the results, the technique of self talk was used many times throughout the results. I showed that self talk helped me get through my work outs and races and stay positive no matter where my mind was at the time. This is no surprise, seeing as most researchers agreed on the fact that positive self talk statements are key for an athlete’s mindset.
ReplyDeleteBoth aspiring filmmakers and regular moviegoers do not show much enthusiasm toward the rise of 3D as a medium for films. When participants were asked if they would rather watch a 2D film versus a 3D film, the majority of participants agreed that they would choose a 2D film over a 3D film. As I predicted, regular moviegoers are not falling into the trap of '3D' and they are aware that it is a way for big studio productions to make more money.
ReplyDeleteThe participants in the survey all have viewed sharks in the media and agree sharks are given a negative image. They said that the news stories sharks are involved in most are shark attacks. These results of people's opinions prove the findings in previous research done, that sharks are portrayed as creatures that always mindlessly attack humans.
ReplyDeleteOut of the many factors that were presented to the study participants, parental influence seemed to have if not the largest, then a very strong impact on all of the individuals. On the scale from 0-5, this factor was given the 4 or 5 ratings for __% of the surveys and not one participant rated this factor as a 0, meaning absolutely not influence whatsoever. Accordingly, even if this factor does not seem to have the strongest influence on all of the participants, it certainly has an impact, regardless of the other factor’s ratings. The heightened strength of this factor most likely is a result from the circumstance that parents and guardian are typically included in all decisions an individual makes as they grow from adolescents to young adults. People became used to this type of influence and developed a type of conditioning to listen to their parents when making these types of life changing decisions.
ReplyDeleteIn the conversation, the participants found that sex and violence in slasher films are one in the same; one cannot happen without the other. They concluded that the characters who engage in sexual acts are in fact going to die because by engaging in some sort of sexual act they have committed a sin. Their answers to the questions were of their own opinion but proved to match the thoughts of the conversation happening about sex and violence in slasher films.
ReplyDeleteAfter interviewing several moms, I discovered that many of them, although still taking advice from their parents, switched parenting styles to a more relaxed, understanding form. Out of the four moms I interviewed so far, they all said that they were Authoritative; however when it came to their parents two said they were Authoritarian, one said in between Authoritative and Authoritarian, and the other said her parents took on an Authoritarian approach. The one’s who had a complete shift in parenting styles referenced repeatedly how the “parents told me what to do and expected me to follow their directions without asking any questions” (Sherry), and did not think this was healthy. They disliked how their parents implemented the, “because I said so” rule, so they tried to stray away from this. Culturally, parents were stricter with their children back then as opposed to now, not just because they disliked the way that their parents taught them but because of how our culture is evolving, with influences from things such as social media, the women’s movement as well as others.
ReplyDeleteThe interview revealed a number of issues and cues regarding the subject of mental imagery and its role as a tool fitness professionals utilize. Although the interviewees’ answers regarding one specific question- asking for an opinion on the effectiveness of visualization and its correlation with physical performance- were similar, there were differences in the reasoning. Bobek answered saying there is no physiological advantage with the implementation of mental imagery but a psychological effect does exists. It [mental imagery] results in increased confidence and familiarity of the obstacle [fitness goals]. He exclaims that this confidence eliminates hesitation and doubt; both have been proven to reduce physical performance. As a trainer who encourages clients to use imagery, he believes it creates ‘’homeostasis’’ in the body by linking both the physical and mental aspect of fitness. Washington on the other hand credits individual performances on the strong bond between the mental and physical connection. He insists on having clients visualize their desired physique to promote self-motivation and obsession that will increase performance output.
ReplyDeleteI will review your work.
DeleteThis is a strong paragraph, you utilize interviews from two individuals with opposing views, which really brings the discussion together. From here, additional research and your personal views on mental imagery and its role as a fitness tool should come into play and build off the two interviews. By building off of this paragraph you could transition into how your results or personal observations coincide or go against what these trainers believe. This is a well written piece of evidence for your results discussion, and simply adding a little more depth and even taking a side could really expand your results section.
DeleteMy most interesting finding was that my many of my 20 participants greatly hesitated to classify themselves as plus size and found it much easier to classify the images of models. Six of my participants reported wearing pants sizes over 10 and seven of my participants said their bodies resembled models C and D which were rated by the majority to be classified as plus size models. However, when asked “Would you consider yourself ‘plus size’” only 2 of my participants answered yes. This tells me that the young women I studied have issues with the term plus size and view it as a negative label they are not willing to give to themselves. This prevents them from being able to accept their bodies and even shop in the right clothing sections and stores.
ReplyDeleteKelly Brown
ReplyDeleteJoseph Longhany
ENC 1102
18 March 2013
In the conversation, the participants found that sex and violence in slasher films are one in the same; one cannot happen without the other. They concluded that the characters who engage in sexual acts are in fact going to die because by engaging in some sort of sexual act they have committed a sin. Their answers to the questions were of their own opinion but proved to match the thoughts of the conversation happening about sex and violence in slasher films. One participant stated that slasher films are usually “evoking suspense in which the antagonist, a male acting alone, attacks one or more female victims. Prior to the deaths of the male monster’s victims my test subjects found that most were engaging in some sort of sexual act.” ()
Society is found to believe that women are the main targets of these male psychokillers in slasher films. My participants were quick to agree, they recognized that in each film there was a surviving girl, which the scholars call the final girl. All four of my participants agreed that Laurie in Halloween and Sydney in Scream where the surviving girls. They also realized that these girls are the innocent ones, the asexual girls that do not engage in sexual acts. The final girl has boyish features and is more watchful and in tune with what is going on around them more than their other female friends seem to be. This is how these women are able to stay alive.
Gender roles of course play their part in slasher films; it is seen throughout the conversation happening about slasher films. My participants could clearly and easily point out the roles being played and they recognized which character represented the male monster and the final girl. One participant explained the gender roles in his own opinion “though in the movies the final "girl" is a female it is really in fact a representation of society and the male monster is the crazed, nasty, and terrible things of the world. The struggles between the two shows that the world can beat us, chase us, and make us feel weak but in the end society conquers it because we are "good" and they are "evil.”” () Not only does this show that society is grasping which character is which, but also what each character in turn represents or could represent. This is fact how the movies turn out in the end. The final girl survives no matter what happens to her or what she has to go through and the male monster is in turn the victim of her hands.
I'll revise your work!
Delete1. The main idea in this paragraph is that the participants came to the already suspected conclusion by themselves, about how sexual acts and violence in slasher films are positively correlated. The key support for this paragraph can be found in the quote from the participant, who clearly illustrates the point that you are trying to get across. You might want to lead into the quote better though, maybe saying that “this is proved when one participant stated that…”
Delete2. The second paragraph discusses the common traits of the “final girl” in slasher films. The support in this paragraph is also good, as you mention how your participants all agreed and realized certain things about the final girl. I would maybe add in a direct quote from one of the participants somewhere though, to really make this paragraph solid. You might want to also add in a quote from a research article too, in order to back up your claims.
3. This paragraph is about the gender roles and common characters in slasher films and how easily the participants could point them out, as well as what they stand for. The quotes used in this paragraph were excellent and clearly supported the main idea.
I would say that third paragraph is the most effective, followed by the first and then the second. The transition from the first paragraph to the second is great, and from the second to the third is also good, but a little bit choppier. Try to eliminate saying “slasher films” twice in the first sentence of the third paragraph. Also, in the third sentence of the third paragraph, I think there should be a colon after the word “opinion” because you have a quote of what exactly his opinion is. The main point of this section seems to be that there are many common underlying traits in slasher films specific for the characters gender, stemming from the correlation between sex and violence. I think that this is very clearly stated in this section. However, I believe you should try and come up with a couple of other points if this is both your results and discussion section, as it is rather short. Overall, I love this topic and great job!
Questions:
1. Why are these the gender roles portrayed in the slasher films? (expand on the society and male monster representation – is this the only representation that there is and why was it chosen to be represented by the female and male, respectively?)
2. Are there any other similarities in slasher films?
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ReplyDeleteRita-Nicole Gross
ReplyDeleteProfessor Longhany
ENC 1102
April 15th 2013
RESULTS
THE AFFECTS OF CARBOHYDRATES
Carbohydrates affected many aspects of ones mood and behavior throughout a period of time. The more carbohydrates the less motivated one became. Each participant was tired and very relaxed, than either laid down or took a nap during the day.
Table 1: This table shows the relationship between eating carbohydrates and naps taken throughout the day.
Participant 1 Participant 2 Participant 3 Participant 4
Do you eat carbohydrates regularly? No Yes Yes Yes
Do you take naps regularly? No No Yes No
Did you take a nap throughout the day? No Yes Yes Yes
Participants 2 and 4 said that they do not take naps on a regular basis, but they consumed such a large amount of carbohydrates they had felt so drowsy they did take a nap. Even though Participant 1 did not take a nap, he felt less productive compared to a normal day due to eating only carbohydrates. The consumption of eating carbohydrates resulted in participants feeling content and lazy. However, it also caused people to feel social, and wanting to hangout with others.
MOOD ALTERATIONS
After eating carbohydrates people were happier and more satisfied. Participant 2 said, “I was in the mood to just chill, and watch movies with everyone in the pod”. Carbohydrates made people more social, and a “home-body”. They had the desire to hangout on the couch and just relax while watching a movie, or talking with their friends. The participants also consumed chocolate products while lying around, which gave them a sugar rush. The drowsiness mixed with the sugar intake caused them to be “sillier”. Participant 1 stated, “I felt delirious after eating a lot of pizza then having chocolate, everything was just so funny.”
PRODUCTIVITY
Food products containing protein, such as nuts, dairy, and eggs, gave the participants more energy. They were able to accomplish more, with less distractions; however it caused them to be more independent and less social. People, who eat protein regularly, tend to exercise more. During this study, every participant was motivated to go to the gym. Exercise played a role on ones productivity level. When one would work out, rather then being tired, it fueled them, and gave them motivation to accomplish more tasks.
Table 2: This graph shows which participants go to the gym on a daily basis, and how they were affected after going.
Participant 1 Participant 2 Participant 3 Participant 4
Do they exercise regularly? Yes No No Yes
How did you feel after exercising?
(Motivated or Tired) Motivated Motivated Tired Motivated
Participants, who exercise daily, have better results post workout. Participant 3 said she was tired after working out because her body isn’t use to utilizing that much energy. However, Participant 4 said she continued to be motivated, “I felt so accomplished that I wasn’t ready to stop working yet,” revealing that your mind set also impacts your resulting mood and behavior. Exercising helped to balance out chemicals in the brain, which reduced the affects of food products.
Results were found to be more extreme in participants who did not exercise daily. Consuming protein, gave them energy they were not used to having. Participant 3 stated, “Usually I take a nap, but today I felt there was no need for one. I was able to accomplish way more than I normally do.” Each participant felt more motivation and was more productive after consuming a high amount of protein. The participants who do not work out daily were impacted more from the Day 3 diet, compared to participants 1 and 4.
I would like to review your work.
DeleteNatasha Minoso
ReplyDeleteProfessor Joseph Longhany
ENC 1102
18 April 2013
One of the many findings in my survey results was the high rate of peer and mood influence on musical preference. The subjects reported what they believed influenced their choice in the music they listened to on a regular basis. Because this question provided a short answer reply and was not a multiple choice question, I was surprised to find that every single subject answered exactly the same. As predicted by both Johnstone and Horton, musical preference, influenced by peers, was a form of conformity. Depending on the mood the listener was in, whether it was a happy or depressed state, the change in musical preference was evident (Hunter).
The radio proved to play an extremely vital role in aiding the popularity of new music. 95% of those surveyed reported listening to a song because of the familiarity that came with it after hearing the song more than once on the radio. Records played frequently are being constantly promoted and thus joining the genre of “pop” music (Boyle). One finding that correlated with the radio promotion was the genre most preferred by the volunteers. More than half of those surveyed preferred listening to the “Top Hits” instead of “dance” or “indie rock”. One volunteer added to her response by stating that she “liked familiarity when it came to listening to a certain genre of music”.
A not-so surprising find in the survey results was the amount of people who found an attraction to a song with the beat of the song. Twelve out of the fifteen subjects surveyed stated that the one thing that caught their attention when hearing a song was the beat that accompanied the song. Only a mere three subjects stated that the lyrics were what drew their attention whilst first hearing a song. These results may be due to the fact that listeners are unaware of what the lyrics are saying and solely focusing on the melody or beat of the song (Cole). Engaged listeners who are drawn to a song with lyrical value, rather than just a catchy beat, are not likely to listen to “popular” music on the radio (Astor).
I will be revising her work
DeleteThe first paragraph begins by talking about how your peers influence your music choice. She talked about how music choice maybe a source of conformity and then brought in how the experts had predicted a sign of this. She also mentions how she did not give the subjects a multiple choice survey so the fact that they wrote the same thing spoke volumes which i thought was a job well done on her part. The second part of the paragraph focuses on how your mood influences the choice of music. I think this part was well done too. What I would personally suggest is that she maybe spilt the two ideas up into two separate paragraphs so that she can elaborate more on each and i think it would help the flow of the paper too.
DeleteThe next paragraph talks about how the radio had affected the music industry. She talks about how most people listen to music on the radio only when in their cars. I think something interesting to add here would be why people do this and maybe when they are not in their cars how do they listen to music. The next part of this paragraph talks about the type of music people liked to listen too. I think this part should be more elaborated on because there was only one sentence on what i felt was an entirely new subject. Like the previous paragraph i would recommend splitting them up in two. I think it would allow for more elaboration and a better flow.
I think this is a very strong paragraph. I think it does a very good job of getting right to the point and it only hold one "sub heading" of information.
Overall I think this is very good. What i would focus on mainly is the flow of the section. I think once you divide those paragraphs and add a little but more information to fill in the gaps it will be much better. To me this sounds like your discussion section and I do not see the results so I cannot do a full assessment on that.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteKyle Bussey
ReplyDeleteProfessor Longhany
ENC 1102
4/17/2013
My results showed me that the majority of people who own an Apple product not only have owned multiple Apple Products over the course of their life, but have in fact owned multiple versions of the same Apple Product. My survey asked 25 participants about their history with Apple products, and of the people I surveyed 17 have owned an iPhone, 23 have owned an iPod, and 11 have owned a MacBook. I then asked people how pleased they are/were with their Apple products. Of the 23 people who owned an iPod 22 of them said that they were completely happy with their iPod when they owned one. The only reason they stopped using their iPod was because they purchased an iPhone, which carries all of their music. Customer satisfaction with the iPhone was not as high. 11 of the 17 people said that they were completely satisfied with their iPhone. With that being said only 5 of those 11 people said that they would trade their iPhone for a different device. This led me to the conclusion that a majority people who are not completely satisfied with Apple’s products would rather stay with Apple and hope the problem gets fixed that to switch to another company’s product.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteKaitlyn Lopez
ReplyDeleteJoseph Longhany
Enc 1102
April 18, 2013
Results
Group 1
Group 1 consisted of 5 subjects, all females ranging from the ages of 16 to 75, who were used as the control group. They were asked to watch three separate visual stimuli each portraying a separate emotion (happiness, sadness, and suspense). For the first emotion, happiness, I had the subjects watch the 2013 Coca-Cola commercial without any music. After the subjects watched the commercial, I had them rate the degree of happiness they felt and recorded their answers. The rating of happiness ranged from 5 to 7. For the second emotion, suspense, I had the subjects watch “The Strangers” trailer without any auditory stimuli. After watching the trailer, the subjects rated the amount of suspense they had felt. These ratings of suspense ranged from 6 to 8. The last emotion tested was sadness. Subjects were asked to watch Carl and Ellie’s love scene from “Up” without music and then asked to rate the degree of sadness felt. The rating of sadness ranged from 7 to 8. The individual results for these three experiments are as follows:
Group 1 – No Music (Control Group)
Name HappinessSuspenseSadness
Daphne Salazar 6 7 7
Annette Vondrak 5 8 8
Vanessa Bedoya 7 6 7
Sabrina Smith 6 7 7
Lucy Lopez 6 8 8
I would love to revise your work!
DeleteKaitlyn Lopez
ReplyDeleteJoseph Longhany
Enc 1102
April 18, 2013
Group 2
Group 2 consisted of five subjects, four females and one male ranging from the ages of 18 to 52, who were asked to watch the same visual stimuli with emotionally-matching music, with the intent to heighten the desired emotion. Happiness was tested by having the subjects watch the 2013 Coca-Cola commercial paired with the song “Give a Little Bit” by Roger Hodgson. After watching the commercial, the subjects rated the amount of happiness present. The rating of happiness ranged from 8 to 9. After testing happiness, I tested suspense using “The Strangers” trailer paired with its original background soundtrack. The rating of suspense ranged from 8 to 10. I then tested for sadness using Carl and Ellie’s love scene from “Up” paired with “Married Life” by Michael Giacchino. Ratings of sadness ranged from 8 to 10. The individual results are as follows:
Group 2- emotionally-matching music
Name HappinesSuspense Sadness
Stephanie Smith 9 10 10
Hilda Lopez 9 10 9
Armando Lopez 8 8 8
Jessica Minoso 8 9 9
Melissa Gonzalez9 9 10
Group 3
Group 3 consisted of 5 subjects, four females and one male ranging from the ages of 15 to 49, who were asked to watch visual stimuli that were paired with emotionally-mismatching music. The first emotion tested was happiness. I tested happiness by having subjects watch the 2013 Coca-Cola commercial paired with “Concrete Angel” by Martina McBride. After watching the commercial, subjects were asked to rate the degree of happiness. Results for this group ranged from 4 to 5. Suspense was the next emotion tested using “The Strangers” trailer paired with “Shine Bright” by Tyra Banks. Subjects then ranked the amount of suspense present throughout the trailer. Results ranged from 3 to 5. The last emotion, sadness was tested by showing the Carl and Ellie’s love scene from “Up” paired with “First of the Year” by Skrillex. The results ranged from 3 to 5. The individual results of this experiment were as follows:
Group 3- Emotionally-mismatching music
Name Happiness SuspenseSadness
Werner Vondrak 4 3 5
Briana Bazail 5 5 4
Kaylin Trujillo 5 4 5
Natasha Minoso 5 5 3
Tery Lao 5 4 5
1. Paragraph one discusses the three emotions observed whilst watching the 2013 Coca Cola commercial, “The Strangers” trailer, as well as the trailer for “Up”. Each subject watched the clips without any audio and were then told to rate the emotion they felt afterwards. The paragraph was pretty explanatory and logistical when explaining the method and result of the video clips.
Delete2. Paragraph two discusses the subjects being exposed to the same three video clips with the appropriate music added to heighten the emotional value. All the results show an increase in each emotion with the audio present, subsequently showing that audio added to a video may increase the likelihood of a more prominent mood or emotion.
3. Paragraph three is my favorite by far. It shows the subjects being tested with the same video clips but instead of the appropriate audio, Katie had them listen to a completely opposite song that had nothing to do with the audio. As I had assumed while continuing to the results, the subjects all reported a lessened emotional value to the video.
Transitions between paragraphs could be a bit smoother, but because of the logos approach Katie is taking, it’s efficient and effective. The main point of the methods section is missing so I cannot revise that part of the paper. The reader should be able to know what the author is trying to successfully find with the study and results. Were the results surprising or exactly what was predicted? I would improve this piece by adding an introduction that states what you are looking for and what your main reason is for the study.
Stephanie Smith
ReplyDeleteProfessor Joseph Longhany
ENC 1102
18 April 2013
The first family I interviewed was the Trujillo family. They have two children Kevin (18) and Kaylin (15) whom are both bilingual. When I interviewed the parents I asked them about the process they underwent while teaching their child a second language. The first thing they told me was that they were the ones who taught their children Spanish. They did this by talking to the children in Spanish, watching bilingual shows with the children, and reading bilingual books with their children. They also told me that they feel they actually taught Spanish more to their oldest child Kevin. They said when Kaylin came around she learned the second language more from hearing it than actually being taught. I then had the children take a Spanish proficiency test, which asked questions testing the children’s grammar and then had them orally tell me about their favorite childhood vacation. Kevin scored higher than his sister Kaylin on both the proficiency and oral test.
The second family I interviewed was the Bazail family. They have two children Joshua (17) and Briana (16) whom are both bilingual. When I interviewed the parents I asked them about the process they underwent while teaching their child a second language. I learned that in this family the children were not taught Spanish by their parents. The way they learned a second language was through listening to their grandparents speaking it. They claimed that Briana had the better Spanish of the two children. I then had the children take a Spanish proficiency test, which asked questions testing the children’s grammar and then had them orally tell me about their favorite childhood vacation. Briana scored higher than her brother Joshua on both the proficiency and oral test.
The third and final family I interviewed was the Smith family. They have two children Sabrina (16) and Lucas (13) whom are both bilingual. When I interviewed the parents I asked them about the process they underwent while teaching their child a second language. They started off the interview by saying that they were the ones who taught their children Spanish. They told me their main method of teaching was through conversation with their children. They also said they played games with their children in Spanish. One interesting thing that came up in this interview was that they wanted to teach their children Spanish to preserve their culture. Another interesting aspect was that Sabrina started to stutter while she was developing her Spanish and they thought the cause was that she was learning two languages so they stopped teaching her Spanish. The parents also claimed that Sabrina had better Spanish because despite the speech impediment dilemma, they taught her more than Lucas was. I then had the children take a Spanish proficiency test, which asked questions testing the children’s grammar and then had them orally tell me about their favorite childhood vacation. Sabrina scored higher than her brother Lucas on both the proficiency and oral test.
ill revise your work
Delete- This paragraph talked about the Truijillo family and discussed how they had taught their two kids Spanish. The first child was taught by only be spoken to in Spanish, watching Spanish shows, reading Spanish books. They did this same process with the second child but less intensively. She had both children take a Spanish proficiency test and an oral test and the first child scored better in both. The paragraphs have a good amount of results however the support is what is missing. Maybe listing a few examples throughout the paragraph would help to give it more credit. Maybe give examples of some of the bilingual shows and games used to help teach the kids. What are some of the question on these tests you are giving what were their answers. Compare answers from one kid to the other. This paragraph is stronger the paragraph about the Bazail family but it still needs more credit.
Delete- This paragraph talked about the Bazail family whose two kids learned Spanish through their grandparents. They two kids were given a proficiency and oral exam. Briana, the second of the two kids, scored the best on both tests. You are missing a lot of support on this paragraph. If they learned only from their grandparents does that mean that only English was spoken in their main home? Did their grandparents live with them in the same house? How often did they see their grandparents? Since Briana had better Spanish, was it maybe because she spent more time with her grandparents? It just has lots of unanswered questions. I think this is your weakest paragraph. There is very little detail about how exactly the kids were taught so I am left with many unanswered questions.
- The third paragraph is about the Smith family, whom has two children. The children were taught Spanish through their parents using the main method of simple everyday communication. Sabrina , the oldest of the two, developed a speech impediment and so they stopped speaking both languages at home and only spoke English giving Lucas, the youngest, less amount of time to master Spanish. Sabrina scored higher than Lucas on both the proficiency and oral test. This paragraph definitely has more support than the others however is still missing examples to strengthen the paragraph. Give examples of the techniques listed in the paragraph. Overall I think this is your best paragraph. It is longer than the others and goes a little more in depth than the others. I would add more examples however.
- Overall, after adding the support, examples and quotes, I would try to maybe transition into the next paragraph/family. You forgot to add the discussion section, as did I, so I am not able to do a full peer review of this section. I am, however, eager to see how you tied everything together using the discussion section. How did these kids scores compare not just within the family but against the other families? Did any family come out the strongest by a large lead?
Brianne Addison
ReplyDeleteJoseph Longhany
ENC 1102
18 April 2013
Results and Discussion
To organize my data, I coded the second weeks worth of transcripts into three sections that I found to be the most common(See Appendix A). I used symbols to code each sentence that seemed to be relevant to each other. To clarify, a lot of my self study was based on my erg scores. Erg scores show how hard you are pulling in a direct reflection on the screen ahead of me. If an erg score raises up, then that means I am not pulling very well or to my full potential. The lower the numbers on the monitor are, the better you are pulling on an erg.
Self-Talk
Researchers showed that self talk was one of the main concepts used within athletes and this was proved true in my self analysis research. Looking at the results, the technique of self talk was used 46.1% throughout my self study, which was the highest percentage within the results(See Appendix B). I showed that self talk helped me stay positive even when I was getting down on myself, and helped get through my work outs and races no matter how weak I was feeling at the time. During one of my 6k tests, I thought to myself “I can do this” and “I was recruited for a reason” and “I need to do well on this in order to be in the best boat.” This result came to me as no surprise, seeing as most researchers agreed on the fact that positive self talk statements are key for a successful athlete’s mindset. What we can gather from this data is that self talk is, in fact, one of the best ways for an athlete to keep their mindset strong.
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DeleteCoach and Coxen Reinforcement
ReplyDeleteI realized that the things my coaches say have a huge impact on the way that I perform. The second highest technique that allowed me to keep my mindset positive throughout my performances was coach and coxen reinforcement with a percentage occurrence of 30.8%. If I am pulling a piece on the erg, and my coach is saying positive things in my ear, then I will perform better. My coach said things to me like “Bri you are annihilating this piece” and it made me feel really good inside which allowed me to pull even better numbers on the monitor. When a crew gets to that point in a race where they are no longer able to motivate themselves, it is a coxen’s job to step in and motivate our minds to cross over that “wall” and push us to our limits. By saying negative things about the other team and positive things about our crew, that made us pull harder and stronger throughout the race. I found that the more our coxwain spoke to us in an affirmative tone the less I thought about the pain and the more I focused. Our crew became more calm and had more rhythm after the calls were made. This makes another claim in the conversation of research because I found that coaching and external factors really help my performance.
Calmness to Ensure Rhythm
ReplyDeleteCalmness and breathing techniques accounted for 27.3% of my results. When I told myself to breath deep and when the coxen said to stay calm during a race it allowed me to think more clearly on what I had to accomplish.When our coxen told us to stay calm and to breathe during a race I felt a change of pace and rhythm that was developed throughout the rest of the race. By taking deep breaths before the starting of a race, I became less stressed and found that I could breath properly. This research shows that diaphragmatic breathing reduces the oxidative stress induced by exhaustive exercise as previous research has shown (Pierluigi 2).
Negativity from Outside World
What was not proved with my research was the effect that negativity and stress had on the mind. Results of 17.4% showed that negativity and stress from the outside world did not help me achieve my positive mind set throughout performance. When I tried thinking about some negative events that were happening in my life at the time, my erg scores raised a lot and I simply wanted to quit the workout. I let the negative thoughts get to me, rather than making me stronger which is what D.M Stanley believed helps an athletes performance.
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DeleteKatelyn Lechner
ReplyDeleteProfessor Longhany
ENC 1102
4-18-13
After interviewing several moms, I discovered that many of them, although still taking advice from their parents, switched parenting styles to a more relaxed, understanding form. Out of the six moms I interviewed, they all said that they were for the most part Authoritative; however when it came to their parents five out of the seven said that they were Authoritarian (see Table 1). The one’s who had a complete shift in parenting styles referenced repeatedly how the “parents told me what to do and expected me to follow their directions without asking any questions” (Sherry), and did not think this was healthy. They disliked how their parents implemented the, “because I said so” rule, so they tried to stray away from this. Culturally, parents were stricter with their children back then as opposed to now, and this is shifting not only because they disliked the way that their parents taught them but because of how our culture is evolving, with influences from things such as social media, the women’s movement as well as others.
[table one here, I didn't know how to copy it over]
Many parents agreed that this cultural shift influenced how they teach their children, as well as did economic changes. Out of the seven mom’s that I interviewed, four of them have worked at one point while their children were young, most for economic reasons (see Table 2). One of the mom’s, Karen*, states that, “it is important to realize that although many of us may have started out wanting to work and have careers because we grew up as feminists, many of us ended up having to work from a purely economical standpoint. The bills have to be paid somehow…we can’t ‘have it all’”. This is true for many parents; they work until the husbands job is secure enough, and then sometimes they quit to spend more time at home.
[table two here]
The amount of time parents spend with their children sometimes effects the kids personality, both in positive and negative ways. The three mom’s who had worked full time for a large length of their kids childhood all mentioned in their interview that they thought having a job has made their children more independent. This was curious because only one of the other mom’s even mentioned this as a possible result, all others saying instead that they did not believe their child’s personality was changed in any way. This mother, Marin, stated that, “I believe the suffrage movement has created children that are more independent at an earlier age. They are not as innocent as they once were. They are growing up so much faster”.
I will cover your peer review.
DeleteParagraph #1
DeleteOverall Synopsis:Parenting styles are shifting to more relaxed due to parents not liking the way their parents treated them and cultural changes.
Key Support: Many quotes were used in this paragraph to illustrate how parenting styles have changed due to the dissatisfaction these parents feel with how they were raised. However, at the end of the paragraph, cultural changes are brought in as a reason for the parenting changes and very little detail is given. The ideas of suffrage and social media affecting parenting styles need to be expanded with more detail. How have these things affected parenting styles?
Paragraph #2
Overall Synopsis: Moms have been working due to feminist ideals about taking care of yourself as a woman, as well as economic reasons because they had to support themselves.
Key Support: There is a detailed quote supporting the idea that moms can’t be around their children to teach them due to economic reasons. There is no detail however about how the cultural shift was an influence in teaching children and how moms being able to quit work and stay home affect their teaching methods.
Paragraph #3:
Overall Synopsis: Children seem to be growing up more independent due to cultural changes as well as the fact that their moms work all day.
Key Support: This paragraph ends with a quote from a mom about how the suffrage movement caused children to be more independent from an early age. That quote needs to be explained and more detail needs to be given on the effects of women’s rights movements on children.
Overall, I see the theme of culture changing the parenting styles of each generation. This idea just needs further exploration. Your first paragraph seems to be the most effective because it provides a clear preview of where your results section is going. However, it previews things that are not fully covered later like social media and cultural changes. There just seems to be a lot missing from the entire results section. Remember, if you use a quote as evidence, it needs to be explained or given an introduction. You have to say how this quote proves your point and explain in your own words what its trying to say. Your transitions are good and each topic flows into the next. There just need to be better explanations and details of your sub topics.
Questions:
1. What cultural changes have made the most impact on parenting styles and how?
2. What are the implications of children becoming more independent? Is this a good or a bad thing?